Tuesday, 13 October 2009
I was running as fast as I can, never looking back,breathing heavily. But every step I took forward my mind moved backwards in time. I didnt know why. I thought if only I can run faster, for my home was not much far away. It never occurred to me that I could have hired a taxi or atleast asked for a 'lift'. I just ran towards my past.
I remembered how I used to struggle to take out 75 paise from my 'good luck' every afternoon to buy an ice cream without breaking it. And I remembered just when I started earning 75000 Rupees every month. I touched the back pocket of my trousers to check my wallet while I ran incessantly.
I remembered the first time when I met my wife. The smile on her face was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen and when she had lowered her eyes with shyness I was lost in another world. And I remembered just the previous day when we had exchanged harsh words in anger. I touched the ring in my finger as I moved forward and adjusted it a little. I was completely drenched in sweat.
I remembered how I used to work through late nights, almost everynight, so that I was not behind others. And I remembered just in recent times, when I had stayed late for parties and fun. I was a few steps from my home when suddenly my feet slowed down.
I saw quite a number of people around the main gate of my home. I saw an ambulance parked and I was frightened to death. What if my wife or parents had met with an accident. I just couldnot move further but I had to. I moved slowly towards the gate, hoping everyone to be fine but alas! As I opened the gate with my shaky hands and entered, I saw a lifeless body, draped head to toe in a white cloth, lying right in front of the main door and my mom covering her face with her saree and crying eternally. My eyes searched for my wife, I saw her crying with tears never ending. Dad! I dragged my legs towards my dad, sleeping forever. Every step seemed like a mile. As I reached near I couldnot stand anymore. I fell on my knees and never knew when tears started flowing down my eyes. As I reached the drape, I heard the gate opened. Although I didnot look back, I heard a voice calling my mom. I was surprised and when I turned, to my happiness, I saw my dad who had just come back from his office. It was a mixed feeling as I was happy my dad was alright, but I was confused who the man-in-white could be. I quickly lifted the drape to check and my world was shatterred. It was me!
The whole life I never tried to search for my soul and now when I am lying there, lifeless, I dont know where my soul is.